Oh the changes!

Lets see, where do I begin?? Gavin is 6 months old today! I can't believe it's been 6 months already! We'll be planning his 1st birthday in no time. Scary thought! Last Sunday Lucas became fully potty trained! What a process that was!! Then one day it was like somebody flipped a switch, he just got it! It's SO awesome only having to change one diaper at a time again! Gavin is growing like the proverbial weed. He is now 2o lbs 4 ozs and measures in at just over 26 inches. Needless to say we'll be upgrading carseats in the coming weeks. Lucas started preschool last month and loves it! He can't wait to go to school in the morning (most days). :) Gavin can roll from front to back and is SO close to rolling back to front. He can nearly sit unassisted and he loves to play in his exersaucer and jumperoo. He loves his big brother and stares at Lucas all the time. And half the time Lucas does a far better job getting Gavin to calm down and stop crying than Riley and I do! It's quite amazing to see. Gavin also started daycare a few weeks ago. Thankfully we have an amazing daycare mom and I was able to leave him and go to work the first day without worrying a bit!
As for Riley and I, mowing has started to slow down a bit now that it's getting cooler out. But football has started so we've traded one kind of busy for another! And for me, I survived the Ragnar Relay! AND I fully intend on doing it again next year!! ha ha Next up..... my first half marathon in South Dakota in 2 weeks! Bring it!

Ragnar?? I thought you said Ray's Bar.....

3:20 a.m. race day and my cellphone starts beeping... "We're down a runner, Tara's son is sick." My first thought.... FUCK! *sigh* Fast forward, 6:15 a.m. our first 6 runners are at the levee and ready to go! We have our flags, our gear and are waiting for our "safety" meeting, 7 a.m. Tara Jo takes off! Now this is when it starts to get interesting (well, ok, that started at 3 a.m. when we were down a runner). The other 5 of us head to the van, get organized, make a quick pit stop and head to our first exchange. My heart is pounding my stomach is in knots and I seriously want to puke. 8:30 a.m. i'm waiting in the chute for Tara Jo, 8:35 a.m. I take off on my first leg, 6.2 miles. BRUTAL is the only way I can explain it. I have not had a run go that poorly since my very first run where I barely made it 7/10 of a mile! It was hot and the sun was beating down on me and all the blood I needed to fuel my body was working on digesting the bagel I ate far to close to my run. blah. Continue this leapfrog patter for our next several runners. This is Ragnar.... Run, Eat, Sleep?, REPEAT! Our van ran the first 6 legs then handed off to van 2 of our team to run the 2nd 6. Around 6pm we then started our 2nd 6 legs. My 2nd run went MUCH better, to put it mildly I dominated it! 8.3 miles in the dark with a 2 mile gilmore valley-esque hill with a 3 mile long decent done in an hour and 32 minutes. Overall I'd say Ragnar was a success and I do plan on doing it again next year! All the craziness of running, eating quick snacks with no real meals, not sleeping and being packed like sardines in a van with five other people is so worth it! Imagine doing something you love (ok, if you're a runner, something you love) with thousands of other runners cheering you on,spending 2 days with some of your closest friends, laughing and talking and you have Ragnar! And the title for this post.... one of the many very creative team names. :)

I run for the fallen.

Friday I will run my third race with the hopes of running many more. This past Saturday my long run included a decent size hill and 8 miles. After about mile 4 when I was halfway through my run as well as halfway up the monster hill I started to think "oh lord how am I ever going to complete this run let alone the races I have coming up!" And then I started thinking about all of those people out there who used to run and no longer can or the people that would love to experience the joy of even walking let alone running but have never and will never be able. This propelled me forward. At this point in my run my ipod also died due to the pouring rain which freed my mind to wander and I began to think of all our troops, those still with us and the fallen. Fast forward to this morning. I spent the better part of a half hour talking with a Vietnam Veteran after I donated to a veteran's cause. At this point it occurred to me, why am I running all of these races? Obviously they all benefit charities of some form; my first 5k - skin cancer, my 2nd 5k - youth sports, the Ragnar Relay this weekend - youth mentorship. All of these are wonderful causes but I want to run for something that hits a little closer to home, something I feel very passionate about. Which has led me to start researching what kind of events are out there that benefit our troops and their families. I've found several and plan on scheduling them into my 12 month race calendar and I welcome all fellow runners to join me! This weekend I will be running all three of my Ragnar legs for the fallen, those still fighting for our freedom and those who used to run and no longer can. To our troops, thank you for fighting for us!

Getting a little perspective

Friday is usually one of the best days of the week as you know the weekend is approaching! However on this particular Friday I found myself having "that" morning. You know the one i'm referring to, the one where from the minute you get up things just seem to go wrong.... THAT day. Let's re-cap....went to make coffee and spilled the pot full of water all over the counter then in the process of trying to clean that up spilled half the container of coffee all over the floor, stubbed my toe, went to get in the car (which I had started to get it cooled down for the kiddos) to find i'd not only locked my keys in the running car but i'd also locked myself and the kiddos out of the house....(thank goodness for a hidden spare key!!) Finally get on the road to LaCrosse to meet my mom at Sams Club. Cashier rings up purchases wrong so I have to then wait in line behind 10 other customers for 2 items, then go to Caribou (which doesn't have a drive thru.... :(), unload both kids go in to get my coffe and they give me the wrong one but don't have time to fix it because of 2 screaming kids. Keep in mind it's barely 10:00 at this point..... NOW, I have a decision to make at this juncture; I can either sulk and let these many unfortunate irritating things ruin the rest of my day (and there's a lot of day left!) or I can laugh at this and choose to start over! So that is what I did! Not to say i'm above sulking, i've done that a time or two (and who hasn't!). But on my drive home as Lucas was talking to Gavin in the backseat and Gavin was laughing and cooing at his big brother I realized there just isn't enough time or energy in my life to waste on negative things.
I found myself thinking about a friend who had to say goodbye to her babies after just an hour on this earth and my eyes teared up. If I chose to let these minor things ruin my day how could I face that friend or others who are truly taking on lifes most difficult challenges? My perspective on the day immediately changed. I looked at my babies in the backseat and smiled remembering that I get to go home to an air conditioned house with two healthy children, a wonderful husband, food in our cupboards and clothes in our closets. My life is truly blessed and i'm thankful everyday for everything and everyone I have in my life.
This is life, you roll with the punches and you pick your battles. To those of you that are dealing with genuine struggles, my heart aches for you, be strong and I love you!

Where has the summer gone?!?!

I can't believe we are already into August! We have had such a busy summer and our fall calendar is quickly filling up as well! Ri starts football in a week and a half, I have the Ragnar Relay coming up in two weeks, Lucas starts PRESCHOOL!! in 2 weeks and Gavin will start daycare when I go back to work on the 29th. I can't believe there are only a few short weeks left of our busy summer! A quick update on our "little" family. Gavin is now nearly 5 months old, smiles, coos, rolls over and loves to watch his big brother run around like the energizer bunny! He's a very strong little guy and thankfully has been sleeping through the night since about 3 months! (yes, we realize how fortunate we are for this!!) Lucas is, as always, as active as toddler boys come! We're working diligently on potty training....somedays it goes really well and others I feel like Gavin will be potty trained before him!! ha ha But we'll get there! He has healed wonderfully from his surgery and within a week we could tell a big difference in his speech. The week of the 22nd he moves into the preschool room at daycare....where did my baby go??? I can't believe he is old enough for preschool already! He throws epic tantrums just like any toddler and his favorite saying during these tantrums lately is "don't talk me!!" Oh the drama of toddlerhood. ;) Ri has been really busy with mowing, hasn't had to many slumps this year like we have in the summers past but I really don't know how he works in this heat and humidity! He's been playing in two softball leagues this summer. One wrapped up last night and the other plays for the league championship on Monday night. Cash has been doing great adjusting to both boys and is as usual a great pup and very protective of all of us. As for me, i've been training quite a bit this summer. I have a 200 mile team relay this month, a 10k in September and a half marathon in early October. I'm also considering signing up for another half marathon in May. I've found that running helps keep my anxiety in check and I absolutely LOVE the runners high afterwards! Well, that's about all for the Stejskal's at this point. I'll post again in a few weeks after my race (if I survive!) with pictures! :) Love to all.

Superman!

Lucas is such a trooper! He had surgery yesterday, double surgery actually. His tubes came out in October and since February he has had 4 double ear infections. SO, in talking with his ENT specialist we decided a second set of tubes were needed as well as removing his adnoids. So we checked in to the hospital at 8:00 yesterday morning. He was taken back for surgery at 9:20 and was back in the room with Gavin and I by 10:20. He struggled when he first came out of the anesthesia and was kicking, screaming and trying to pull his IV out. After rubbing his back for about five minutes while trying to keep him from pulling his IV out he fell back to sleep. Once he woke up the second time he ate a popsicle and was ready to go home. We were home by shortly after 1pm and by 3 you'd never have guessed he'd had anything done! We kept him home from daycare for the week not really knowing what to expect with the addition of having his adnoids removed. Today it's as if he didn't have anything done. Poor Cash thought he was going to get a break....no such luck! :) We are so thankful he doesn't seem to be having any pain (other than when we have to put his eardrops in). Hopefully this will be the last time he has to have this type of procedure. His first set of tubes were in for nearly 2 years so if this set stay in that long we are hoping he will be old enough that he will have grown out of this issue. And having his adnoids removed should help with the draining of his ears/sinus as well. Here's hoping!!

I'll chalk it up to lessons learned.....

Growing up I never understood why my mom NEVER seemed to stop moving. She'd get home from work and immediately start doing something around the house; laundry, cleaning, mowing the lawn, you name it. Now, as a working mom, I completely understand!! Had she sat down she would have promptly fallen asleep!! I find myself hitting a wall promptly at 6pm every night. Other lessons I find myself learning as a mom.... my house may look like a tornado hit it by 8pm every night, dinner may not be served right at 5:30 every night and the laundry may pile up until there are 6 or more loads to do..... BUT...... my kids are loved, they are happy and healthy and they go to bed with full bellies, clean faces, clean sheets and clothes to wear. So I may not be nominated for mother of the year or "super mom" anytime soon but that's just fine. I don't think a mom who never needs a break or always has a sparkling house while having toddlers exists; but if she's out there, good for her.
I take pride in being a good mom and a good wife. I love taking care of my family. I enjoy cooking for them (and according to my hubs, sometimes baking to much.... he he). I love hearing my children laugh and seeing them smile. But I also need time for me. I need time out of the house to do something other than being a mom. I need my job, I enjoy my job, it gives me another purpose. And yes, I may be selfish, but I need the occassional tanning appointment or hair appointment. And I believe my husband can attest to this, I NEED running. Running sets me free, it gives me time to think but to not have to solve anything, it gives me time away from screaming babies, tantrum throwing toddlers and attention seeking pups. So in closing, I say this to all my mom friends and my mom..... we're human and there is nothing wrong with asking for what we need, calling it a day when there is still laundry to be done or dishes to be washed, and handing the kids off to the husbands and saying "i'll be back in 5!" (even if you really need 25). :) To all you super moms out there, I salute you and to all you daycare moms who deal with numerous toddlers at a time, you deserve a freakin medal!!

Truly Blessed.

This morning as I sit at my desk and take a minute to reflect on my life, I feel truly blessed. I may not have everything in the world and I may still want for many things, but when it comes right down to it, I have more than I need and everything that is important to me. What brings me to think these things? In short, Memorial Day. This weekend we went to my parents cabin. At the cabin I was surrounded by my amazing family; my husband, two kiddos, mom, dad, and both of my brothers. You see, we were fortunate this Memorial Day to not have an empty chair at our family table like we have in years past and like many families currently do. Each and every day I am thankful my dad is stateside and less than an hour from me. Being a self proclaimed daddy's girl I couldn't ask for anything else.
So as I listened to my brothers bicker with my dad over yardwork and watched my husband role his eyes at the shenanigans the Krause's sometimes pull, I couldn't help but smile. As my son ran around the cabin playing karate man and sat in the truck with his Boppa it almost brought me to tears just to see the joy on his little face. Knowing that I am blessed to be part of such an amazing and supportive family is quite overwhelming at times and I don't think I reflect on how lucky I am enough.
I know I am thankful every day, not just Memorial Day and Veterans Day, for the sacrifices our troops and their families make. But I also ask that all of you remember any and ALL servicemen and women and their families every day. Not just those in our armed forces, but also our police officers, fire fighters, EMT's, etc. They also take care of us everyday and some do not make it home to their loved ones at night.
I also spent a great deal of time this weekend reflecting on friendships and love and second chances. To all the loves of my life (Tara this means you to), keep your heads up! There is a plan for all of us. It may not make sense right now and we may struggle through it, but that's the important part to remember, we will get through it!! Love to you all and here's to an amazing summer!!

Where does the time go?

Gavin is 6 weeks already! He's weighing in at 9lbs 6ozs and is filling out nicely. :) Lucas is playing the role of big brother wonderfully. He makes sure to let me know anytime G is crying (not like we can't hear him.... ha ha) and loves to give him kisses. He also loves to share his toys, for now, i'm guessing in another 8 or 9 months when G can and wants to play with Lucas' toys we'll have a whole different situation. So far Lucas isn't showing any jealousy towards Gavin but we're working hard on making sure Lucas gets one on one time with each of us.
Riley Started his mowing season today....May 2nd and he froze his butt off! That is just not ok in my world!! We should not be worrying about snow and frost in MAY! Who can help me convince my hubby to move out of this godforsaken tundra?!?!?!?! He will also be playing softball two nights a week this summer. I'm very excited that he's going back to softball after taking several seasons off. He's also given up coaching baseball (gasp!). But we're all very excited about the extra family time that will give us.
As for me, I jumped right back into running about 3 weeks after G was born. I am running my first 5k this month, another 5k in June, the Ragnar Relay in August and a half marathon in October.... yes, i'm begining to realize I may be slightly crazy (but I like it). :) Unfortunately with G arriving 6 weeks early I will have to go back to work before the end of the school year. SO, May 24th I'll head back to work for three short weeks before summer break. I'm excited to see my students and be able to wrap up with my 8th graders before they move on to high school but sad that i'll have to leave my little peanut. Oh well, it's only for 3 weeks and there are only 4 days of work each of those weeks for me (i'll take it!).

Keep an eye on your mailboxes, pictures of G being sent out SOON! :)

So close I can taste it!

We're getting there! Very slowly, but making progress! Mama had to put her foot down today though. I know people are telling me to be patient and they'll let us go home when he's ready. But I also believe in mothers instinct and I feel he's ready to go home. He's been steadily gaining weight and eating like a champ! He wakes up on his own and gives very distinct cues for when he's hungry. He's awake and alert for short periods of time throughout the day. And they told me when we got to 8 nursings in 24 hours we could go home.....well today is day TWO of 8 nursings. So I insisted they take the feeding tube out. He hasn't had a tube feeding since 8am this morning and needs to be tube feeding free for 24 hours with a weight gain before we can officially leave. SO, after 8am tomorrow if he still has a weight gain we should be able to go home!! They are also doing his carseat trial tonight (they have a moveable car seat they wheel in and strap his seat in it correctly and he has to be able to stay in the seat for 90 minutes without his vitals changing) and if his vitals do not change then it should be 24 hours or less before we are able to blow this popsicle stand!! I can not wait! My back is very much ready to sleep in my own bed and not on this awful couch/bed thing they have and my boys at home miss me. Cross your fingers AND toes everyone! Hopefully this will be our LAST night in the hospital for a VERY long time!!

2 weeks in....

Well today I hit 2 weeks in the hospital, pretty much straight. :/ I'm bored out of my mind, exhausted and feeling very isolated. But mostly I feel the worst for Lucas. He has no idea what's going on and doesn't understand why mommy has been gone for so long. I'm really hoping we'll be home by the weekend....not sure how much longer I can stand sitting in this room day in and day out.
Ok, enough of that, on to the positives. Over the past 36 hours Gavin has nursed for every other feeding which is a huge improvement. Hopefully his team will have great news tomorrow and we will be able to start talking about some of the slow transitions we need to make in order to go home.

Rest? Yeah like when?!?!?!

So we got another curveball early this morning. I've had a slight cough for a couple weeks and we didn't think anything of it. It was actually starting to get better until yesterday. Throughout the day it got worse and worse as well as my lungs feeling really full and heavy. SO to be on the safe side I went to the emergency room to be checked out to make sure it isn't anything I can pass on to Gavin. Well, on the positive side it isn't contagious. On the very negative side, it's pneumonia! So i'm on an inhaler and antibiotics that are both thankfully safe to take while nursing. Then the Dr. says "make sure to get as much rest as you can." Yeah, like when Doc?!?!?! I'm sleeping on a pull out couch in an intensive care nursery for starters. Then add pumping every 2 hours, trying to get Gavin to nurse every 3 hours, monitors going off every other minute, nurses coming in every hour and a half or more and you tell me when exactly i'm supposed to get "rest" in all of that. And no, before anyone asks, I can't go home. Gavin has made huge strides and we are now working on getting him to solely nurse or take a bottle and we are going on his cues (which he's getting very good at thankfully), which means I have to be here 24/7 until he goes home. I am so frustrated, stressed and emotionally drained I think I could probably be knocked over by a dam feather. :( Hopefully once I start the antibiotics in the morning i'll start to feel better in about 24 hours. Cross your fingers please. :/

Day 6 in neonatal....

So Gavin is at the 35 week mark today. He's starting to show cues for nursing and even nursed 3 times in 14 hours! He lost a little bit of weight initially (partly due to him taking on some of the excess fluid I was carrying) but he is now putting it back on. Which is exactly what they want to see. Everyday between 1 and 2 the team of specialists make their rounds through the neonatal unit and update the parents on progress and plans for the infants. When the team came in today they were very impressed by Gavin's feedings and said that if he continues he could be home sometime this weekend! They even told me I could call and schedule his first out of hospital appointment for Monday (with the sidenote that if need be we can move it back a day or two). But all of this is very encouraging news!! I forced myself to leave the hospital Monday night and go home for the night. And truthfully I don't know which was harder, leaving Gavin at the hospital or Tuesday morning having to say bye to Lucas while he cried and clung to me while saying "mommy no go!" He kind of understands why mommy is gone, but not really. I'm just hoping he won't resent Gavin for taking all this time away from him. It's very hard sitting in a neonatal room day in and day out without company (only parents and grandparents are allowed in his room) and missing your husband and toddler like mad. :( BUT, hopefully only a few more days and we'll all be one big happy family AT HOME!!
We would like to thank everyone that prayed for us, sent us well wishes and love, came to visit us and for all the very nice but unnecessary gifts! We are so grateful to have so many wonderful people in our lives! Love to all! :)

And ACTION! :)

He's here! Gavin Lee Stejskal was born at 9:51 a.m. on Friday March 18th. Weighing in at 6lbs 8ozs and 18 inches long. He is six weeks premature and in the neonatal unit, but doing GREAT! :) He hasn't had to be on oxygen at all and he's been able to regulate his own body temperature from the start. So once his feeding is on track he'll be able to come home!
So here's what happened..... I was sent home from the hospital at 5:30 Wednesday night, still having contractions. Thursday I felt sick all day and was still having contractions so I told Riley we needed to make sure the hospital bag was all ready to go because "I had a feeling" something was going to happen on Friday. 3:50 Friday morning my water broke which sent us on a crazy 6 hour ride.... First, we had to go to the local hospital (my least favorite place EVER) where they transported me by ambulance to Mayo.... a very long and scary ride. Once at Mayo they hooked me up to all the monitors and in came the FIRST anesthesiologist (yes, first, as in it took more than one.... :(). So this guys starts to do my epidural, which they give you a numbing shot for so it's not supposed to hurt.....well it HURT. I tried telling him this and was told "oh that's normal, it's fine" meanwhile the other Dr. in the room is saying I think you should probably do that again. But nope, he left it. So an hour later only one side of me is numb and I can still feel every contraction. *sigh* Enter SECOND anesthesiologist.... she tries to help and pulls the spinal catheter up a bit and has me wait a half hour and still nothing so then she has to re-do my epidural but to give me immediate reliefe she also gives me a spinal which finally numbed both sides. And just in time to, at this point it's after 8am and i've felt every blessed contraction. At about 9:30 one Dr. came in to check on me and said I was dialted to 7. Then about 10 minutes later another Dr. came in and said "OH BOY" (which in case you're wondering isn't a good sign)... SO, at 9:42 they wheeled me into the operating room, just to be on the safe side having had a previous c-section, and Gavin was born at 9:51 a.m.!! And that my friends is our whirlwind 6 hour ride! My epidural never really did take true effect but thankfully the spinal shot helped enough to get me through the last hour and a half. Once they checked Gavin over I got to hold him for a couple of minutes before he was taken to the neonatal unit.
Saturday was a good day for Gavin, he actually nursed twice, which the nurses couldn't believe and kept most of his food down. He didn't like his feeding tube though and pulled it out and they had to replace it. Now today he didn't want to nurse because he was to tired, but he's still doing great! His jaundice levels are really low and he's been able to be moved out of his incubator and into a regular bassinet. They've also allowed me to do K care 3 times today (skin to skin snuggling for an hour each time).
The hardest part of all of this is trying to explain to Lucas why mommy can't be home and not being able to hold Gavin anytime I want. So tonight i'm staying in Gavin's room in the neonatal unit and then tomorrow night after his afternoon feeding i'm going to force myself to go home so I can spend some time with Lucas. Then it'll be back to the hospital early Tuesday morning for the duration of Gavin's stay.
Thank you for all the love, well wishes, prayers, gifts and visitors! We love you all!

HOME!

Well, at 5:30 tonight they decided to send us home. I'm still contracting regularly but there isn't any progression. So they don't see why I can't wait it out at home. That being said, i'm absolutely TERRIFIED! What if there's a change and I can't tell?!?! I've been contracting regularly for 4 days! Not really sure how i'll tell the difference unless my water actually breaks. UGH. They do have me scheduled to see a specialist right away Monday and will have me see them regularly until Gavin makes up his mind. They are also allowing me to return to work but only half time and I'm supposed to stay as sedentary as possible.... not really possible for me or my job.
I will say, it is great to be home with all my boys! Cash didn't know what to do when I walked in the door. I also can't wait to sleep in my own bed and actually eat something!! I had gained a total of 10 pounds when I entered the hospital and I think when I left today I was down 4. Considering Gavin weighs over 6 1/2 pounds I'm technically down quite a bit.
We will keep everyone posted after our appointments and if there are any changes. Thanks to everyone who called, e-mailed, texted and visited! I really appreciate it and all of you! Love you all!

Update #3

Well, we're on hour 58 of "labor" with no change. Gavin is still looking good and is still strong and active with a solid heartbeat. I'm still in the anti-partum wing for now. The team of Dr.'s i've been working with are meeting tomorrow morning to decide a course of action for me. Whenever I ask a question as to what the potential options are I get "we'll just have to wait and see." Which is very frustrating! But at the same time I understand that they can't make any decisions right now with everything up in the air. On the plus side tomorrow is the magical 34 week mark!! And as Gavin is already measuring over 6 1/2 pounds things are looking really good for him. He may need a feeding tube for a little while but other than that he should be just fine.
Riley and Lucas were able to come visit me tonight and it made my day. I miss being home with them very much and it's hard to be away from Lucas as his language is exploding more and more every day. So for instance, tonight he walked in and said to me "what happened mommy." ha ha. It was very hard when he left and I had to try and explain why mommy couldn't come home with him yet.
Mom and dad came to visit me tonight which was good. They can always make me laugh and it was nice to have family around and to just laugh and hang out a bit. I don't really have much other news to report other than the obvious; hospital food is gross, hospital beds are uncomfortable, there is only so much e-mail checking, facebooking, reading and movie watching one can do and I really miss sunshine and fresh air!!
We'll keep everyone posted after tomorrow's "decision". Love you all.

Update #2

Well, still just waiting. They moved me to the anti-partum unit at about 7 this morning because the contractions had slowed to only a few every hour. At 10 they took us down for an ultrasound and to no surprise Gavin is and I quote "gargantuen" according to the doc. At not even 34 weeks he's weighing in at 6lbs 11ozs. We then toured the NICU as a precautionary measure, which was scary and heartbreaking. At about noon my contractions started again and were very strong and consistent for several hours. They gave me the second dose of the steroids to try and speed his lung development up. So currently the plan is to continue to monitor me and the contractions. At 1:30 tomorrow (Tuesday) they will take me off the medication that is trying to postpone the labor and let nature take its course. They'll continue to monitor me in the hospital until Wednesday at which time they will decide whether or not I can go home to wait it out or if I need to stay in the hospital. We meet with a social worker on Wednesday to discuss staying at the Ronald McDonald house if they will not allow me to travel all the way back to Winona. I'm really hoping that is not the case as I miss Lucas very much and can't imagine being away from him for that long. We'll keep everyone posted as we learn more and appreciate all the well wishes, thoughts and prayers that have been sent our way. Love you all.

What a ride.....

Well, I don't want to plaster stuff all over facebook but there is so much going on right now I need an outlet. So, this morning we were running our Sunday errands and at about 11:00 I started to have contractions. At first I just chalked it up to braxton hicks because i've been having those for about 6 weeks. However, this time they actually hurt and were coming pretty steady. We went home and I drank some water and laid down as if it is false labor this will help it subside. When they were still coming every five minutes and rather painful for about 35 minutes we called the birth center at Olmsted and they told us to come in to be monitored, just to be on the safe side. SO, our wonderful friend Tara rushed over to stay with Lucas while Ri took me in. We didn't bring any of our stuff with us as we figured it wasn't anything serious and they'd send me home in a few hours. Once we got to Olmsted they hooked me up to the monitors and started an IV. The contractions were now 2-3 minutes apart and quite painful. They did a check and I was dilated to 2-3. Because I am only 33 weeks they then gave us drugs to try and stall the labor as well as steroids to try and speed up Gavin's lung development. They then contacted Mayo Clinic who sent an ambulance for me and I was transported across Rochester via ambulance (not fun when you're contracting) so we could be set up next to the NICU if they are unable to stop the labor. We then met with lots of Drs and specialists about what our options are. Best case scenario they are able to stall my labor and I will be able to go home in a few days but will have to take a pill every 3-4 hours to keep labor at bay and probably be on bedrest. In hopes that they can get me to 35 weeks (the longer the better obviously). Worst case scenario they can't stall the labor and Gavin arrives early and may need to spend some time in the NICU. In our favor are things like he's measuring big and the steroids they're giving us will help his lungs become more developed before delivery. Another thing is that if he does come in the next 2 weeks we may actually be able to do a VBAC. SO, for the time being it's just wait and wait and wait. They are going to do an ultrasound in the morning to get his height and weight and we'll be in the hospital for sure until probably Tuesday morning. The next dose of steroids for his lungs is at 1:30 tomorrow afternoon and then they'd need us to wait for 12 hours. But if labor is stalled at that point they'll either send us home with strict guidelines or they'll admit me to a room here. It will all depend on how the labor continues and so on. SO, we're exhausted, scared, worried and impatient. We probably won't be posting anything on facebook as so many things are up in the air, but just wanted to keep some of you informed. I do have my cellphone and I do check it so you can call. If I don't answer i'm either resting or meeting with our team but i'll get back to you when I can. I guess we shouldn't have expected anything else from Gavin.... he's been making it count from day 1! :) Love to all.

And sleep evades me again..... :/

Oh the joys of being a worrier on top of being a pregnant worrier on top of being a mom to a toddler who worries..... :/ Needless to say there has not been much sleep happening for me the last week. So lets re-cap shall we..... Lucas has been sick on and off for WEEKS! 3 weeks ago he had a fever of 105.8 which has now been followed by almost 3 weeks of a horrible rash that has now spread all over his entire body, scalp now included. We took him to a dermatologist who barely glanced at him before declaring it eczema and sending us on our way with a steroid cream. We tried said cream and it made it worse, far to strong for his little skin and the rash got worse. SO next stop was the family medicine Dr./pediatrician who declared it Roseola which had been going around at his daycare and is a viral infection that they can't do anything about but goes away within a week of the fever breaking (WE'RE ON WEEK THREE!) so needless to say it also is not that. UGH. SO, on Thursday we are having him tested for allergies as now with the rash he is very pale, his eyes are a little sunken in and he has dark circles under his eyes that put even mine to shame. Not to mention my hyper active, spirited toddler cried to go to bed at 6:15 last night then slept for 13 hours!! Something just isn't right and it's making this momma worry even more so than normal..... And of course, having anxiety and being pregnant and a woman in general your mind immediately wonders to the WORST possible scenario (think nightmares about childhood lukemia.....). *sigh* Next up we have Ri going in for surgery on the two breaks in his foot this Friday. But keep in mind we don't actually know the time to report for surgery and can't call to find out until Thursday between 1 and 3 p.m. Which makes for a blast in figuring out who in the heck is going to take Lucas to daycare and pick him up on Friday when we don't even know if we'll actually need anyone. Also, they aren't sure how bad the breaks are or how much repairing they'll have to do once they're in there. Which means anywhere from 4 to 8+ weeks of recovery with the first 2 weeks including NO driving. Add next said stressor, getting Lucas to daycare (when he can't be there until 7:30 and I have to be to work in Rochester by 7)..... Thank goodness I have understanding bosses who recognize I put in a lot of extra time and are ok with me being a little late all of next week. Item number 3 on the worry list..... next Wednesday I have to give my deposition for my accident. Which means yes, after nearly 2 years they will expect me to remember everything I ate, said and did that day (now keep in mind I have a permanent mild TBI and my memory is horseshit now thanks to it and i'm sure you can get the picture). Am I missing anything??? Other than the giant size little one i'm carrying who may very well come as many as 6 weeks early (EEK)I think i've about covered most of it. OK, end rant. Thank you blog for allowing me to vent my frustrations while I cry tears of I don't even know what (but i'll tell you this non-emotional lady is SO sick of tears!!!!)and hope that getting all of this out will allow me to get more than a couple hours shut eye tonight as working with middle schoolers all day is so physically and mentally draining without being pregnant and as big as a killer whale added to it.
Have I mentioned how much I need it to be February 26th yet??? Day at the spa please!!

28 weeks down.....12 or less left!!

Wow does time fly! I am 28 weeks today! Gavin would have a 90% survival rate if he were born anytime after today. We spent the weekend doing baby laundry and getting Gavin's space set up. I'm sad that he won't have his own room for atleast a year, but you make the best of what you have. I can tell he's starting to run out of room in there by how much my belly moves when he rolls and kicks lately. It's also easy to tell exactly where he is and which body part he's using to push on me. :) My students find it very entertaining to feel him kick and watch my belly move. ha ha
I'm guessing they won't allow me to go past April 22nd. We had an appointment last week and they did several tests and all came back good, no thyroid condition, no gestational diabetes and blood pressure is fabulous. We go back in on the 17th to be measured and check his progress. If i'm still measuring ahead they'll schedule another ultrasound to check his growth. But we all know he's going to be a big boy like his brother!

Bring it on! Looking forward to 2011!!

I can't believe it is already 2011! I'm excited for this upcoming year which by the looks of the calendar is already shaping up to be a great year!! Baby G is due in April which then means having the remainder of the school year off to be with my boys! Plus my good friend Tara and I are setting up a Ragnar team!!! (super excited but very nervous) AND we're running a half marathon in October. Tara is a seasoned runner and is my role model! I just hope I can keep up with her!! Stay tuned for more updates on our training!! :) Mine will not officially start until probably June but until then we're steppin it twice a week. SO hopefully that will help me get back into running form!!!

No More Bed Rest!! :)

Well, thankfully Baby G's growth has tapered off a bit so they took me off of bed rest and are allowing me to resume all my normal activities. They do have a recommend a support brace which I have and do wear, at least for a couple hours each day. In addition i've also started a walking routine with my good friend Tara. Which has been wonderful! It's so nice to get out of the house twice a week and have some girl time while getting exercise! I miss running SO much!! On a side note, I'm getting really sick of people commenting on how "huge" I am and saying things like "you haven't had that kid yet" or "you've got to be ready to have that baby any day now, you're SO big!" Gee thanks!! On days like that I really really wish I weren't so short with so little torso so all this baby had more room to spread out instead of going straight out! Blah.

I'm also trying a countdown to our due date.... so hopefully the link will work!!