Superman!

Lucas is such a trooper! He had surgery yesterday, double surgery actually. His tubes came out in October and since February he has had 4 double ear infections. SO, in talking with his ENT specialist we decided a second set of tubes were needed as well as removing his adnoids. So we checked in to the hospital at 8:00 yesterday morning. He was taken back for surgery at 9:20 and was back in the room with Gavin and I by 10:20. He struggled when he first came out of the anesthesia and was kicking, screaming and trying to pull his IV out. After rubbing his back for about five minutes while trying to keep him from pulling his IV out he fell back to sleep. Once he woke up the second time he ate a popsicle and was ready to go home. We were home by shortly after 1pm and by 3 you'd never have guessed he'd had anything done! We kept him home from daycare for the week not really knowing what to expect with the addition of having his adnoids removed. Today it's as if he didn't have anything done. Poor Cash thought he was going to get a break....no such luck! :) We are so thankful he doesn't seem to be having any pain (other than when we have to put his eardrops in). Hopefully this will be the last time he has to have this type of procedure. His first set of tubes were in for nearly 2 years so if this set stay in that long we are hoping he will be old enough that he will have grown out of this issue. And having his adnoids removed should help with the draining of his ears/sinus as well. Here's hoping!!

I'll chalk it up to lessons learned.....

Growing up I never understood why my mom NEVER seemed to stop moving. She'd get home from work and immediately start doing something around the house; laundry, cleaning, mowing the lawn, you name it. Now, as a working mom, I completely understand!! Had she sat down she would have promptly fallen asleep!! I find myself hitting a wall promptly at 6pm every night. Other lessons I find myself learning as a mom.... my house may look like a tornado hit it by 8pm every night, dinner may not be served right at 5:30 every night and the laundry may pile up until there are 6 or more loads to do..... BUT...... my kids are loved, they are happy and healthy and they go to bed with full bellies, clean faces, clean sheets and clothes to wear. So I may not be nominated for mother of the year or "super mom" anytime soon but that's just fine. I don't think a mom who never needs a break or always has a sparkling house while having toddlers exists; but if she's out there, good for her.
I take pride in being a good mom and a good wife. I love taking care of my family. I enjoy cooking for them (and according to my hubs, sometimes baking to much.... he he). I love hearing my children laugh and seeing them smile. But I also need time for me. I need time out of the house to do something other than being a mom. I need my job, I enjoy my job, it gives me another purpose. And yes, I may be selfish, but I need the occassional tanning appointment or hair appointment. And I believe my husband can attest to this, I NEED running. Running sets me free, it gives me time to think but to not have to solve anything, it gives me time away from screaming babies, tantrum throwing toddlers and attention seeking pups. So in closing, I say this to all my mom friends and my mom..... we're human and there is nothing wrong with asking for what we need, calling it a day when there is still laundry to be done or dishes to be washed, and handing the kids off to the husbands and saying "i'll be back in 5!" (even if you really need 25). :) To all you super moms out there, I salute you and to all you daycare moms who deal with numerous toddlers at a time, you deserve a freakin medal!!

Truly Blessed.

This morning as I sit at my desk and take a minute to reflect on my life, I feel truly blessed. I may not have everything in the world and I may still want for many things, but when it comes right down to it, I have more than I need and everything that is important to me. What brings me to think these things? In short, Memorial Day. This weekend we went to my parents cabin. At the cabin I was surrounded by my amazing family; my husband, two kiddos, mom, dad, and both of my brothers. You see, we were fortunate this Memorial Day to not have an empty chair at our family table like we have in years past and like many families currently do. Each and every day I am thankful my dad is stateside and less than an hour from me. Being a self proclaimed daddy's girl I couldn't ask for anything else.
So as I listened to my brothers bicker with my dad over yardwork and watched my husband role his eyes at the shenanigans the Krause's sometimes pull, I couldn't help but smile. As my son ran around the cabin playing karate man and sat in the truck with his Boppa it almost brought me to tears just to see the joy on his little face. Knowing that I am blessed to be part of such an amazing and supportive family is quite overwhelming at times and I don't think I reflect on how lucky I am enough.
I know I am thankful every day, not just Memorial Day and Veterans Day, for the sacrifices our troops and their families make. But I also ask that all of you remember any and ALL servicemen and women and their families every day. Not just those in our armed forces, but also our police officers, fire fighters, EMT's, etc. They also take care of us everyday and some do not make it home to their loved ones at night.
I also spent a great deal of time this weekend reflecting on friendships and love and second chances. To all the loves of my life (Tara this means you to), keep your heads up! There is a plan for all of us. It may not make sense right now and we may struggle through it, but that's the important part to remember, we will get through it!! Love to you all and here's to an amazing summer!!

Where does the time go?

Gavin is 6 weeks already! He's weighing in at 9lbs 6ozs and is filling out nicely. :) Lucas is playing the role of big brother wonderfully. He makes sure to let me know anytime G is crying (not like we can't hear him.... ha ha) and loves to give him kisses. He also loves to share his toys, for now, i'm guessing in another 8 or 9 months when G can and wants to play with Lucas' toys we'll have a whole different situation. So far Lucas isn't showing any jealousy towards Gavin but we're working hard on making sure Lucas gets one on one time with each of us.
Riley Started his mowing season today....May 2nd and he froze his butt off! That is just not ok in my world!! We should not be worrying about snow and frost in MAY! Who can help me convince my hubby to move out of this godforsaken tundra?!?!?!?! He will also be playing softball two nights a week this summer. I'm very excited that he's going back to softball after taking several seasons off. He's also given up coaching baseball (gasp!). But we're all very excited about the extra family time that will give us.
As for me, I jumped right back into running about 3 weeks after G was born. I am running my first 5k this month, another 5k in June, the Ragnar Relay in August and a half marathon in October.... yes, i'm begining to realize I may be slightly crazy (but I like it). :) Unfortunately with G arriving 6 weeks early I will have to go back to work before the end of the school year. SO, May 24th I'll head back to work for three short weeks before summer break. I'm excited to see my students and be able to wrap up with my 8th graders before they move on to high school but sad that i'll have to leave my little peanut. Oh well, it's only for 3 weeks and there are only 4 days of work each of those weeks for me (i'll take it!).

Keep an eye on your mailboxes, pictures of G being sent out SOON! :)

So close I can taste it!

We're getting there! Very slowly, but making progress! Mama had to put her foot down today though. I know people are telling me to be patient and they'll let us go home when he's ready. But I also believe in mothers instinct and I feel he's ready to go home. He's been steadily gaining weight and eating like a champ! He wakes up on his own and gives very distinct cues for when he's hungry. He's awake and alert for short periods of time throughout the day. And they told me when we got to 8 nursings in 24 hours we could go home.....well today is day TWO of 8 nursings. So I insisted they take the feeding tube out. He hasn't had a tube feeding since 8am this morning and needs to be tube feeding free for 24 hours with a weight gain before we can officially leave. SO, after 8am tomorrow if he still has a weight gain we should be able to go home!! They are also doing his carseat trial tonight (they have a moveable car seat they wheel in and strap his seat in it correctly and he has to be able to stay in the seat for 90 minutes without his vitals changing) and if his vitals do not change then it should be 24 hours or less before we are able to blow this popsicle stand!! I can not wait! My back is very much ready to sleep in my own bed and not on this awful couch/bed thing they have and my boys at home miss me. Cross your fingers AND toes everyone! Hopefully this will be our LAST night in the hospital for a VERY long time!!

2 weeks in....

Well today I hit 2 weeks in the hospital, pretty much straight. :/ I'm bored out of my mind, exhausted and feeling very isolated. But mostly I feel the worst for Lucas. He has no idea what's going on and doesn't understand why mommy has been gone for so long. I'm really hoping we'll be home by the weekend....not sure how much longer I can stand sitting in this room day in and day out.
Ok, enough of that, on to the positives. Over the past 36 hours Gavin has nursed for every other feeding which is a huge improvement. Hopefully his team will have great news tomorrow and we will be able to start talking about some of the slow transitions we need to make in order to go home.

Rest? Yeah like when?!?!?!

So we got another curveball early this morning. I've had a slight cough for a couple weeks and we didn't think anything of it. It was actually starting to get better until yesterday. Throughout the day it got worse and worse as well as my lungs feeling really full and heavy. SO to be on the safe side I went to the emergency room to be checked out to make sure it isn't anything I can pass on to Gavin. Well, on the positive side it isn't contagious. On the very negative side, it's pneumonia! So i'm on an inhaler and antibiotics that are both thankfully safe to take while nursing. Then the Dr. says "make sure to get as much rest as you can." Yeah, like when Doc?!?!?! I'm sleeping on a pull out couch in an intensive care nursery for starters. Then add pumping every 2 hours, trying to get Gavin to nurse every 3 hours, monitors going off every other minute, nurses coming in every hour and a half or more and you tell me when exactly i'm supposed to get "rest" in all of that. And no, before anyone asks, I can't go home. Gavin has made huge strides and we are now working on getting him to solely nurse or take a bottle and we are going on his cues (which he's getting very good at thankfully), which means I have to be here 24/7 until he goes home. I am so frustrated, stressed and emotionally drained I think I could probably be knocked over by a dam feather. :( Hopefully once I start the antibiotics in the morning i'll start to feel better in about 24 hours. Cross your fingers please. :/