Rest? Yeah like when?!?!?!

So we got another curveball early this morning. I've had a slight cough for a couple weeks and we didn't think anything of it. It was actually starting to get better until yesterday. Throughout the day it got worse and worse as well as my lungs feeling really full and heavy. SO to be on the safe side I went to the emergency room to be checked out to make sure it isn't anything I can pass on to Gavin. Well, on the positive side it isn't contagious. On the very negative side, it's pneumonia! So i'm on an inhaler and antibiotics that are both thankfully safe to take while nursing. Then the Dr. says "make sure to get as much rest as you can." Yeah, like when Doc?!?!?! I'm sleeping on a pull out couch in an intensive care nursery for starters. Then add pumping every 2 hours, trying to get Gavin to nurse every 3 hours, monitors going off every other minute, nurses coming in every hour and a half or more and you tell me when exactly i'm supposed to get "rest" in all of that. And no, before anyone asks, I can't go home. Gavin has made huge strides and we are now working on getting him to solely nurse or take a bottle and we are going on his cues (which he's getting very good at thankfully), which means I have to be here 24/7 until he goes home. I am so frustrated, stressed and emotionally drained I think I could probably be knocked over by a dam feather. :( Hopefully once I start the antibiotics in the morning i'll start to feel better in about 24 hours. Cross your fingers please. :/

Day 6 in neonatal....

So Gavin is at the 35 week mark today. He's starting to show cues for nursing and even nursed 3 times in 14 hours! He lost a little bit of weight initially (partly due to him taking on some of the excess fluid I was carrying) but he is now putting it back on. Which is exactly what they want to see. Everyday between 1 and 2 the team of specialists make their rounds through the neonatal unit and update the parents on progress and plans for the infants. When the team came in today they were very impressed by Gavin's feedings and said that if he continues he could be home sometime this weekend! They even told me I could call and schedule his first out of hospital appointment for Monday (with the sidenote that if need be we can move it back a day or two). But all of this is very encouraging news!! I forced myself to leave the hospital Monday night and go home for the night. And truthfully I don't know which was harder, leaving Gavin at the hospital or Tuesday morning having to say bye to Lucas while he cried and clung to me while saying "mommy no go!" He kind of understands why mommy is gone, but not really. I'm just hoping he won't resent Gavin for taking all this time away from him. It's very hard sitting in a neonatal room day in and day out without company (only parents and grandparents are allowed in his room) and missing your husband and toddler like mad. :( BUT, hopefully only a few more days and we'll all be one big happy family AT HOME!!
We would like to thank everyone that prayed for us, sent us well wishes and love, came to visit us and for all the very nice but unnecessary gifts! We are so grateful to have so many wonderful people in our lives! Love to all! :)

And ACTION! :)

He's here! Gavin Lee Stejskal was born at 9:51 a.m. on Friday March 18th. Weighing in at 6lbs 8ozs and 18 inches long. He is six weeks premature and in the neonatal unit, but doing GREAT! :) He hasn't had to be on oxygen at all and he's been able to regulate his own body temperature from the start. So once his feeding is on track he'll be able to come home!
So here's what happened..... I was sent home from the hospital at 5:30 Wednesday night, still having contractions. Thursday I felt sick all day and was still having contractions so I told Riley we needed to make sure the hospital bag was all ready to go because "I had a feeling" something was going to happen on Friday. 3:50 Friday morning my water broke which sent us on a crazy 6 hour ride.... First, we had to go to the local hospital (my least favorite place EVER) where they transported me by ambulance to Mayo.... a very long and scary ride. Once at Mayo they hooked me up to all the monitors and in came the FIRST anesthesiologist (yes, first, as in it took more than one.... :(). So this guys starts to do my epidural, which they give you a numbing shot for so it's not supposed to hurt.....well it HURT. I tried telling him this and was told "oh that's normal, it's fine" meanwhile the other Dr. in the room is saying I think you should probably do that again. But nope, he left it. So an hour later only one side of me is numb and I can still feel every contraction. *sigh* Enter SECOND anesthesiologist.... she tries to help and pulls the spinal catheter up a bit and has me wait a half hour and still nothing so then she has to re-do my epidural but to give me immediate reliefe she also gives me a spinal which finally numbed both sides. And just in time to, at this point it's after 8am and i've felt every blessed contraction. At about 9:30 one Dr. came in to check on me and said I was dialted to 7. Then about 10 minutes later another Dr. came in and said "OH BOY" (which in case you're wondering isn't a good sign)... SO, at 9:42 they wheeled me into the operating room, just to be on the safe side having had a previous c-section, and Gavin was born at 9:51 a.m.!! And that my friends is our whirlwind 6 hour ride! My epidural never really did take true effect but thankfully the spinal shot helped enough to get me through the last hour and a half. Once they checked Gavin over I got to hold him for a couple of minutes before he was taken to the neonatal unit.
Saturday was a good day for Gavin, he actually nursed twice, which the nurses couldn't believe and kept most of his food down. He didn't like his feeding tube though and pulled it out and they had to replace it. Now today he didn't want to nurse because he was to tired, but he's still doing great! His jaundice levels are really low and he's been able to be moved out of his incubator and into a regular bassinet. They've also allowed me to do K care 3 times today (skin to skin snuggling for an hour each time).
The hardest part of all of this is trying to explain to Lucas why mommy can't be home and not being able to hold Gavin anytime I want. So tonight i'm staying in Gavin's room in the neonatal unit and then tomorrow night after his afternoon feeding i'm going to force myself to go home so I can spend some time with Lucas. Then it'll be back to the hospital early Tuesday morning for the duration of Gavin's stay.
Thank you for all the love, well wishes, prayers, gifts and visitors! We love you all!

HOME!

Well, at 5:30 tonight they decided to send us home. I'm still contracting regularly but there isn't any progression. So they don't see why I can't wait it out at home. That being said, i'm absolutely TERRIFIED! What if there's a change and I can't tell?!?! I've been contracting regularly for 4 days! Not really sure how i'll tell the difference unless my water actually breaks. UGH. They do have me scheduled to see a specialist right away Monday and will have me see them regularly until Gavin makes up his mind. They are also allowing me to return to work but only half time and I'm supposed to stay as sedentary as possible.... not really possible for me or my job.
I will say, it is great to be home with all my boys! Cash didn't know what to do when I walked in the door. I also can't wait to sleep in my own bed and actually eat something!! I had gained a total of 10 pounds when I entered the hospital and I think when I left today I was down 4. Considering Gavin weighs over 6 1/2 pounds I'm technically down quite a bit.
We will keep everyone posted after our appointments and if there are any changes. Thanks to everyone who called, e-mailed, texted and visited! I really appreciate it and all of you! Love you all!

Update #3

Well, we're on hour 58 of "labor" with no change. Gavin is still looking good and is still strong and active with a solid heartbeat. I'm still in the anti-partum wing for now. The team of Dr.'s i've been working with are meeting tomorrow morning to decide a course of action for me. Whenever I ask a question as to what the potential options are I get "we'll just have to wait and see." Which is very frustrating! But at the same time I understand that they can't make any decisions right now with everything up in the air. On the plus side tomorrow is the magical 34 week mark!! And as Gavin is already measuring over 6 1/2 pounds things are looking really good for him. He may need a feeding tube for a little while but other than that he should be just fine.
Riley and Lucas were able to come visit me tonight and it made my day. I miss being home with them very much and it's hard to be away from Lucas as his language is exploding more and more every day. So for instance, tonight he walked in and said to me "what happened mommy." ha ha. It was very hard when he left and I had to try and explain why mommy couldn't come home with him yet.
Mom and dad came to visit me tonight which was good. They can always make me laugh and it was nice to have family around and to just laugh and hang out a bit. I don't really have much other news to report other than the obvious; hospital food is gross, hospital beds are uncomfortable, there is only so much e-mail checking, facebooking, reading and movie watching one can do and I really miss sunshine and fresh air!!
We'll keep everyone posted after tomorrow's "decision". Love you all.

Update #2

Well, still just waiting. They moved me to the anti-partum unit at about 7 this morning because the contractions had slowed to only a few every hour. At 10 they took us down for an ultrasound and to no surprise Gavin is and I quote "gargantuen" according to the doc. At not even 34 weeks he's weighing in at 6lbs 11ozs. We then toured the NICU as a precautionary measure, which was scary and heartbreaking. At about noon my contractions started again and were very strong and consistent for several hours. They gave me the second dose of the steroids to try and speed his lung development up. So currently the plan is to continue to monitor me and the contractions. At 1:30 tomorrow (Tuesday) they will take me off the medication that is trying to postpone the labor and let nature take its course. They'll continue to monitor me in the hospital until Wednesday at which time they will decide whether or not I can go home to wait it out or if I need to stay in the hospital. We meet with a social worker on Wednesday to discuss staying at the Ronald McDonald house if they will not allow me to travel all the way back to Winona. I'm really hoping that is not the case as I miss Lucas very much and can't imagine being away from him for that long. We'll keep everyone posted as we learn more and appreciate all the well wishes, thoughts and prayers that have been sent our way. Love you all.

What a ride.....

Well, I don't want to plaster stuff all over facebook but there is so much going on right now I need an outlet. So, this morning we were running our Sunday errands and at about 11:00 I started to have contractions. At first I just chalked it up to braxton hicks because i've been having those for about 6 weeks. However, this time they actually hurt and were coming pretty steady. We went home and I drank some water and laid down as if it is false labor this will help it subside. When they were still coming every five minutes and rather painful for about 35 minutes we called the birth center at Olmsted and they told us to come in to be monitored, just to be on the safe side. SO, our wonderful friend Tara rushed over to stay with Lucas while Ri took me in. We didn't bring any of our stuff with us as we figured it wasn't anything serious and they'd send me home in a few hours. Once we got to Olmsted they hooked me up to the monitors and started an IV. The contractions were now 2-3 minutes apart and quite painful. They did a check and I was dilated to 2-3. Because I am only 33 weeks they then gave us drugs to try and stall the labor as well as steroids to try and speed up Gavin's lung development. They then contacted Mayo Clinic who sent an ambulance for me and I was transported across Rochester via ambulance (not fun when you're contracting) so we could be set up next to the NICU if they are unable to stop the labor. We then met with lots of Drs and specialists about what our options are. Best case scenario they are able to stall my labor and I will be able to go home in a few days but will have to take a pill every 3-4 hours to keep labor at bay and probably be on bedrest. In hopes that they can get me to 35 weeks (the longer the better obviously). Worst case scenario they can't stall the labor and Gavin arrives early and may need to spend some time in the NICU. In our favor are things like he's measuring big and the steroids they're giving us will help his lungs become more developed before delivery. Another thing is that if he does come in the next 2 weeks we may actually be able to do a VBAC. SO, for the time being it's just wait and wait and wait. They are going to do an ultrasound in the morning to get his height and weight and we'll be in the hospital for sure until probably Tuesday morning. The next dose of steroids for his lungs is at 1:30 tomorrow afternoon and then they'd need us to wait for 12 hours. But if labor is stalled at that point they'll either send us home with strict guidelines or they'll admit me to a room here. It will all depend on how the labor continues and so on. SO, we're exhausted, scared, worried and impatient. We probably won't be posting anything on facebook as so many things are up in the air, but just wanted to keep some of you informed. I do have my cellphone and I do check it so you can call. If I don't answer i'm either resting or meeting with our team but i'll get back to you when I can. I guess we shouldn't have expected anything else from Gavin.... he's been making it count from day 1! :) Love to all.